Why didn't I do this earlier? Researching and interviewing folks about sex over 50 is bringing me into a universe of fascinating people and science and learning.
I've interviewed a "professional wanker," a vulva ventriloquist, and visited the home of a purveyor of sex toys. I met a phone sex line owner for coffee, chatted with swingers, and got the inside story from a sit-com writer about the invisibility of older people and ageism in Hollywood. I've done my Kegel exercises with instructors, and out loud!
I listen to podcasts that need to be muted in public, have bookmarked sites that most people rush to "delete history" for, and instead of glazed eyes when I talk about my work I get stories, lots of stories, so many stories!
Meanwhile, I'm learning about myself. I'm figuring out what intrigues me, what bores me, what offends me. I'm exploring the limits on what I want to include. For example, much of the media around aging and sex is literally anti-aging: selling products to make us look younger. Alternately, older people being sexual is about being cute and adorable: almost infantilizing. If you're interested in where I'm going with my view of sex after 50 check out the Our Better Half Pinterest board: a mix of sexual health information, saucy attitude, dance, and old doors. Yes, old doors. It's a metaphor. But really: these doors are gorgeous and have such personality...
Then there's Twitter. Instead of just changing the topic of my usual feed the podcast has its own, which subscribes to some of the most interesting tweets about sexual health and happiness, tweets about getting older, and those that intersect the two. Check it out. No one will know.
So in 2016 I'm pushing back, pushing boundaries, pushing myself. A new topic where I learn along with my audience. A group project where my friends and fans and new acquaintances teach me.
Special gratitude to my amused but supportive family: my husband and kids and parents and siblings. Long-suffering, they are.
First episode of Our Better Half is scheduled to be available toward the end of the first week of January. Do your Kegels while you're waiting.